Excerpts From A Whittier College Student Memoir: See Whittier College Turned Inside Out

Advisory: This page contains adult language and situations

Education

I'm still wondering where my $30k+ a year went to, my stomach groans as I realize I'll have to pay off some of my loans. Bottom line: Whittier is no where near worth even 1/3 of its tuition cost.

Whittier advertises the school as having a unique and enriching learning environment with traditional elements whatever...bullshit! I've taken over 60 credits from a variety of professors from different departments, and I don't remember seeing anything like that at all.

Twice freshman year my writing seminar chilled at our professor's house, but that was pretty much it for the special classroom setting with some old Quaker values Whittier promised. After taking courses at a [Junior College], I know for sure there wasn't anything special about [Whittier College].

Ooooo professors live on campus. Big deal. Come to Whittier, you might get to paint a rock, oooooo. Ooooo Nixon went there, yay.

When recruiting students, the school seemed to have so much pride in being a small school, and often said 'you're not just a number here.' Ummm okay, well then you're just a name, dollar sign, and ID number to them.

My academic advisor was sweet, but she was useless as an advisor, and you'd expect that the school would sort of look after you and see how you're adjusting and doing throughout your time at Whittier, but you don't get any shit like that.

Big deal if professors know your name, woo who. It isn't like you'd want to know them personally, and it's not like classes there are challenging so you would need their help, and you'll still wait hours to talk to them in their offices anyway.

Whittier isn't college, it feels more like a boarding school

And if you ask people how they like Whittier, don't ask upper classmen or Society members, of course they're going to like the place. You'd have to in order to stay there that long.

You would think that registering for classes in such a small school would be a piece of cake, but Whittier isn't any better than a bigger school, it's the micro version of one.

Registration was always a bitch. You can never get the classes you want because they're always already full, and because of retarded course requirements and required link-courses that will further fuck up your college plans.

Make sure your courses are transferable, which most won't be, else you're further fucked and have to spend additional years like me trying to transfer somewhere else.

And to clarify one thing: I don't mean at all to disrespect any faculty (ummm maybe one or two), I did like some professors as people, and I enjoyed maybe a few classes here and there, but their work just doesn't measure up when also considering Whittier's promises and standards, and the amount I'm paying to be there.

Sex

I'm not saying that in college you have to have relationships, sex, intimacy, or be promiscuous, but I sure do. My first year, I took full-advantage of being legal and finally free of my [Catholic] high school.

I had relationships with more than a dozen people in a year, and probably more if you count certain acts as sex. Some partners were regular, others gladly only once.

Luckily, most of them lived off campus. Luckily, again, for me, the only thing I know I caught was crabs, and I got off lucky compared to close friends who got the big STDs like chlamydia, the gonorrhea wart, hpv, and hepatitis. Seriously.

One stud in my class, well my class president actually, slept around so much, and gave so many girls chlamydia, and some of the same [promiscuous female students] slept around as well and further spread it. My face turned pale when my friend told me screaming that she has his wart in her mouth.

I sort of like how liberal Whittier's view on sex is, with the sex expert coming and all, and receiving bags of candy and condoms from my R A.

Most parties and dances had 'wear the least clothing' themes.

Whittier's dating pool is soooo low, and where's the sex appeal, come on! Freshman year I amused myself by watching the girls next door and across the hall fight over the same guys, and vice versa. Everyone's frustrated and desperate, and sleep with the same people.

I made the mistake twice of sleeping with someone on campus. Everyone knows your business. You can just be walking with someone and everyone will assume you're boning.

Whittier is so small, you could be talking shit about someone, and that person or his/her best friend will pop out of nowhere.

What I still don't get are the [promiscuous female students] of Whittier. Do they actually enjoy sex, or are they insecure and hope that Mr. Right is a Poet? Girls, gigantic girls, girls you wouldn't even think could get any, end up getting a lot - your roommate, your friends, everyone you know, it's so creepy...

Some Whittier kids should really visit other schools and then realize that they really aren't 'the shit'.

Time to be really sarcastic, now: If you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, confused, or something else, you'll love Whittier's glbt dating pool. Wow, you'll have such a selection. May your God bless your heart - because I'm sorry for what you'll go through.

Now, gang bangs, you've probably heard of or seen them before, but (at Whittier College) they're not just a fantasy, they can be real. I was fortunate unfortunately, to witness a few that took place in the dorms. One guy had a (video) recording on his phone that I saw of a classmate getting her orifice stretched out by an athlete while other players watched in the same room.

The second occasion starred a different freshman girl, but with sophomore athletes, who were more than eager to boast about the event to us in the lounge right after she left.

To me, it's really gay to be within a few feet of a buddy while he's boning, let alone go right in after him. But whatever floats your boat...

Diversity ?

If you were a minority in your high school, or hometown, well, you'll most likely be one at Whittier, and no the international Aspect studying abroad Asians don't count. It was a bit annoying for me to see only a handful of black kids in my classes.

Most minorities (and I really hate that word) at Whittier are incredibly white-washed (I hate that term, too, but I must use it). If you want to fit in you must become a [Society Brother or Sister], or at least play a sport or pretend to be interested in a Society.

You better not leave home without your Abercrombie, Hollister, Volcom, Uggs, crappy highlights, Dior sunglasses, etc. Don't bother buying more innovative or upscale brands, people wouldn't know or notice.

Dont' bother grooming either, everyone goes to class looking like shit. You'll get the hang of it, don't worry.

Again, you'll love Whittier's fictional, all-embracing warm sense of community...

My first year, a Mexican girl on my floor was thrilled when she saw the word 'spic' written on her door.

That same year, my best friend was at the corner of the campus on Painter (Ave.) when a truck full of [Society Brothers] drove by, called her a "nigger" and...threw a bottle at her.

I got cans thrown at me, too, in the Amphitheater parking lot late one night. I don't recall drinking in the Amphitheater on a Saturday night, cool, but whatever.

And then on other occasions in my lounge, or hallways, or the Campus Inn, one could hear other slurs and jokes about Blacks, Jews, Asians, fat girls...

Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time I heard the n word...

One Lacrosse player tried to sit my ass down and explain to me that I should fit in with everyone else. He said that I should conform and then slowly [reveal] unique tastes, and he was so serious... What the hell was that?

Miscellaneous Student Life

What I hated most about [Whittier College] is that most students are stupid. My high school class was filled to the rim with dumbasses, and I worked hard and hoped maybe I could indulge in conversations and activities with substance [at Whittier College]. Good luck with that.

If you don't have a car, you are fucked. You better have one, especially spending weekends in Los Angeles. There isn't shit to do in [Whittier], let alone on campus, and it isn't like you'll happily sit around and study. Don't depend on your roommate - because he/she most likely will be from out of state and won't have one.

Most people go to Whittier because they want to be in southern California (and no one here calls California "cali"). L. A.'s awesome, for a little while, then it gets old and boring very fast, and make sure you have lots of cash, too.

Students come here expecting big things, and then spend a lot of money just to realize L. A. is just as shitty as anywhere else, but worse.

I have to admit that the school does try to bring the student body together, as evident in the corny orientation week and occasional activity nights such as "design your own African bead necklace", "watch a hypnotist", and other crap.

But the problem is that Whittier has the most apathetic student body ever.

The school doesn't have many active clubs besides sports and [the Societies]. My major's club had only six people come to its meetings throughout the year, and it was considered lucky, and, yes, my major was one of Whittier's main majors, by the way.

The school says it has over 80 clubs...bullshit! [Whittier College] couldn't organize a glass of water. A friend couldn't even get enough students and faculty involved to help start his major's honor society.

And I remember I was begged by some Student Activities girl to attend a Law School panel - because no students showed up. So, out of pity and curiosity, I went all stoned.

And what's worst about Whittier?
The number of people who leave.

God, I miss my friends soooo much...they had the balls to leave earlier than I did. Yeah, every school supposedly has a retention rate. But at Whittier, it's pretty fuckin' devastating.

It was sad to come back from winter break and see that half my class left, almost every room on my floor was (suddenly) a single or double (instead of double or triple).

...even more left before attempting a second year. So wait after orientation week and see if you see the same faces, then wait (until) after winter break, and it's even more fun the next fall.

But it's devastating - because such big personalities, and the...few decent, talented, people the school could fool...recruit...leave.

The school is trying to counter that by forcing students to live together and take the same classes together. Ummm no shit students might find it harder to leave after forcing them to bond...

But that...works against the school - because you isolate people more and more. None of us knew the (larger) community...

That's what made it harder for me to leave Whittier, my friends and all the memories of adventures and shit we got into.

So why did I go to Whittier? By default, and I didn't have anyone to warm me or tell me like it is, like I'm doing for you, now.

I went to Whittier because I wanted to stay in L. A. with my friends. I was a spoiled brat who didn't want to go too far from home - because that meant that I would have to learn to do my own laundry, which I still can't do.

And I figured I could just transfer to a better school later.

Anyway, the campus looked so different and cozy on the rainy day I visited. I knew it was small, but not that damn small.

A friend and I stayed overnight, we got drunk at a Water Polo party with our hosts, and that was pretty much the main reason.

Haha, the main reason to splurge $30k+ a year. We went to a house party, saw guys dunk a girl into a keg, and we thought Whittier would always be like that, and we stayed in Turner, so we thought our dorms would be like that, and so we made our decisions...

I saw on its brochures that [Whittier College] has a shitload of majors I was interested in. Then a week before my first semester started, I was thrilled to learn that the College doesn't actually offer them. WTF?!!!

My advisor was useless and I was screwed, and I spent my first year figuring out what I wanted to do. And with every intro and core course I took, my interest and passion for that field wilted and died.

Plus I had a big stick up my ass and I thought I was way too good to go to a community college, or public university. Truth is, in the real world no one cares where you went to school, not even employers.

So if you want to use Whittier to make yourself look better, ha good luck, you'll have to convince people first that [Whittier College] is a four year school.

And some dumb Whittier seniors tried to convince me to stay because they said Whittier is considered as good or hard as Harvard. Haha, bullshit.

So when I arrived at Whittier I was completely horrified at the ugly dorms, hallways, and even uglier bathrooms. Renovation my ass. Stauffer (Hall) still looks shitty and old-fashioned, all they did was patch shit up with paint and cheap carpet.

Anyway, orientation week was a bore, and I ditched most of it to go shopping in Hollywood with my girlfriend. The first night at Whittier, friends and I went to the beach and got drunk, and none of us were sober enough to drive back (to campus), but somehow we made it...

So when classes started, with the small class it felt just like high school.

Anyway, in every class I remember being so damn bored and just wrapped up in my sexual fantasies. Most of the classes and schoolwork wasn't challenging nor enlightening.

I lucked out and I never had any homework, assignments, or papers. When I did have bullshit papers, I'd just start them a few hours before they were due.

And around noon, I'd go to lunch and then walk back to my room, and it was annoying that the (people on) campus (were) so sparse...even on busier days...you'd only see a few handfuls of students.

I've visited friends at their universities, and I love seeing their campuses covered with so many different people. That...(is) actually fun and motivating.

I've been called a bitch before, I just hate seeing the same damn people everyday.

Drugs & Boredom

So, again, after classes friends and I would just blaze it. I conveniently befriended a lot of good people, who happened to be stoners, oh, and one heroin addict.

College isn't just for partying, but it isn't just for sitting on your ass studying either.

When school first started, we thought we had to be sneaky and we would smoke out in alleys in Uptown, or go behind the Music building and sit in the little dirt mounds. Then we got more daring and we'd just sit on the steps in the middle of the campus in front of Wardman Hall.

Then we'd just sit by the fountain in front of the Library next to Nixon's memorial. (Editor's note: The federal Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) started operating under President Richard M. Nixon.) Our favorite place was in the Broadoaks preschool. Then we got plain lazy and just blazed in our rooms. We'd put a plastic bag over the smoke detectors and just exhale out the window.

Even though the hallways would wreak (of marijuana), we only got caught once, there was a shitload of people in our room, but nothing happened. No write ups, nothing.

We went through so many bongs and pipes, wow... those were the days. I wish I had grown my own stuff, my closet was so big, the space and privacy were perfect.

Editor's note: Quaker Campus reports in its December 7, 2007 issue, in the 'Crime Log', the discovery in a student's room "...in Ball Hall" of "marijuana, alcohol, a stun gun and a hydroponic marijuana growing operation." Nothing of consequence was imposed on the offending student.

Anyhow, one time my friends and I were so stoned and shroomed out and I was tripping out and tried to walk on walls and we all panicked and ran out of Stauffer (Hall) and a huge cloud just drifted into the hallway. Some students freaked, and our R A walked by and didn't do shit.

Finals for me were like a roller coaster and I couldn't concentrate and get shit done. So luckily some White kids let me in on their antidote for that, and educated me on snorting stuff like Aderall.

Whittier's campus is like maybe the safest place to shroom it, and Penn Park is the best.

(Editor's note: whittiergate.com in no way condones any illegal activity, and it's hoped anyone interested in experimenting with consciousness-expanding drugs, including psilocybin (mushrooms), mescaline, LSD and so on, first familiarize themselves with use protocols suggested by leading scientists in that field, such as Dr. Timothy Leary.)

Anyway, I was known for my trippy analogies, poetry, and artwork. My hallucinations, visions, divinity glimpses, and shroom trips are very personal to me, and I wouldn't erase them for the world. They helped me so much and they're probably the only thing I'm fortunate about from my time at Whittier.

Besides saying certain drugs are tools for creativity, relaxation and spiritual enlightenment, and especially shrooms' major contribution to human evolution and consciousness, I don't care to really justify or argue about them here...

I generally dislike people who dislike drugs, but I advise you to keep your mouth shut (at Whittier College) if you have negative opinions about drugs and alcohol.

I came from a really sheltered home and conservative school so it was a big culture shock to me to even see kids my own age smoking cigarettes. And when I expressed my disapproval of the party atmosphere (at Whittier College) I had to deal with a lot of shit from stupid people.

So there were like a few decent people who didn't smoke or snort or drink anything. There was this model from the Bay Area who lived down the hall, and she openly confessed to everyone about her weekly cocaine habit to stay thin...

We'd often drive drunk. We loved to speed up this hill on Hadley (St.) and feel the car fly [through] the air.
And we'd run red lights on Philadelphia (St.) to catch this dip in the road. So dangerous...but we survived.

So boredom was the main reason for our explorations and crazy journeys. The best nights were when friends were all strung out and we'd tear our rooms apart for loose change and shit to pawn so we could buy munchies and even more [drugs].

I realized that some [students] might have had a problem when they started selling their textbooks that they were still using...

Oh, and the textbooks are so fucking overpriced, I hated that bookstore, and I just resorted to stealing my books. I'd go in with my laptop bag, fill it with what I needed, and just walk out.

Once, I asked where a specific $80 book was, and I just picked it up and walked straight out with it, and then my class typically didn't even use it...

...one night this guy and I were so bored we went to the Dollar Store down the street and bought a bunch of crap to vandalize the school with...

But the best times, were the weapons. We bought airsoft guns, and then it got pretty scary when everyone else on the floor had them. We had paintball guns, too, and we hit up walls and crap on campus, so sorry to the maintenance (workers) who had to clean that up.

Some guys loved to play with food for some reason, maybe their inner sploshing fantasies come out. My first year, our hallway floor and door were always smeared with food and shit, it was horrible.

It was worst when some guy would purposefully shit on the floors of our bathroom, and then the poor [cleaning lady] would have to clean it up, crying...

Someone shitted in our lounge, and then there was the incident when some guys tried to fit a jacuzzi in their room, but it got stuck [in the dorm doorway].

Another incident one night, Campus Safety (tried to bust someone), but when [the officers] were inside (the dorm), some guys fucked their car up.

Then we got into fireworks... During noon we'd light them in the middle of the hallways and then run inside our rooms like scared little pussies. It became amusing briefly when we'd shoot them out our windows and aim that at passing cars...

I hated to notice the whining and miserable faces my friends would have when they didn't have any drugs left...

For me, when something or someone stops being fun, I'm stubborn and I'm through with it.

It became very obsessive, and everyone wanted to get high or drunk every damn day, and it was fun the first few months doing it nonstop, but damn, there's much more to me and my life than that.

Security, Stalkers, and Mental Cases...

The administration and Campus Safety think they have everyone by their balls but they sure don't. Without alcohol and (controlled) substances, what the hell are we supposed to do? Sit around and talk about Jesus?

Once one (Campus Safety) officer, the younger Black one, was sooo cracked out. He was seriously on something. He drove on campus all paranoid, yelling, and asking student weird questions.

Friends and I were lighting up in our car outside the Philadelphia House, and right after I sparked our bowl, I realized that the old White guard was right outside, coming toward us! I shitted in my pants, he clearly saw us, but looked away and disappeared somewhere, and again nothing happened.

Some guys next door in Harris (Hall) were blazing it, when the female (Campus Safety) officer, Mama Reese we'd call her, went into their room, and was in there for a while. Maybe having a serious talk with them. But nothing happened, maybe because they were athletes or whatever.

But even if you were a victim, [Campus Safety] treats you like shit. When my room got broken into...[a Campus Safety] officer didn't show up until a month later and then he treated me like I was some fuckin' convict. And it took another month before my door was repaired.

...but if you were raped...Lord help you. I know of a few incidences where girls claimed they were attacked and didn't get any help from the school.

And then I got stalked, I guess for being so good looking it comes with the territory. I'd return to my room to find this dirty freak in my bed...

I don't know how she got into Whittier with her IQ, but the College obviously just wanted her money and didn't help her, when even her dumbass got molested by some pervert she met online...

The bitches on her floor just giggled as they knew what was going on. I saw the Campus Safety officer smirk as he listened to her story.

I beat myself up so much my first year - because I thought I made the biggest mistake coming here. I wanted so much to transfer to the Catholic university I was going to go to instead.

In desperation I went to Counseling when friends noticed my frequent mood swings. I had all the symptoms of a sociopath, and the Counselor and another Doctor wanted to put me on emergency psychiatric care because I was clearly a danger to myself and others...I guess.

But when I expressed to the Counselor how much I wanted to leave Whittier, [she] suddenly began to play stupid and...to tell me loser first grade shit like "you have to find happiness inside." wft??

I was screaming for a way out and a way to get the happiness and success that I have now. And after a semester, [the Counselor] didn't even bother to contact me to see how I was doing. What a bitch. I guess I was just a number there after all.

Friends and I thought, "maybe it's just us, and not the school." No, it's the school. [Whittier College] is just too damn small and boring, and the education isn't worth all that money, that's it. You don't have to contemplate your own sanity.

Finals and Cheating...

During finals, I was a loose cannon, and that's an understatement. I was so overwhelmed and depressed. I was used to not doing any work at all, and suddenly I was bombarded with so much shit to do.

Even though all my work was way too easy, it was so hard to get motivated enough to do it and stay focused. I fucked up so much on my first finals week and didn't bother doing anything. I went out to dinner, the movies, and just got stoned with buddies. I had two papers and a final exam on my last day.

I completely plagiarized one paper, and my professor told the class he knew about it, and that the student would be in a lot of trouble. I started shooting blanks while taking his final which I didn't study for.

I don't know why professors leave the room while students take tests...

...after that, I thought I was expelled and thought 'Great, I'm free, I'm done with Whittier.' But I didn't receive any notices, so I went on to Jan term, where even more partying took place.

I didn't check my grades until the summer, and then I realized that not only did I effortlessly pass every course with flying colors, I made the Dean's List. wtf?

And every finals week was like that for me. I'd completely throw my education away, and then get rewarded with good grades...

Calculus? Chemistry? I got A's in both, but still don't remember what the hell went on in those classes.

...if I'm going to pay $30k+...it should be guaranteed that I'll pass. [Whittier College] should have a whole different teaching system and it doesn't. So I made sure I was going to pass either way. If I was struggling, well, it reflects back to how lousy the professor was.

So cheating to me is the least of my worries, especially when I have to sit through boring bullshit lectures and (am) forced to memorize more useless bullshit material for bullshit tests.

Leaving Whittier...

So I was a basket case my last semester, luckily I was in a relationship so that helped distract me.

My major's core courses were so shitty. And one professor inspired me to become a ninja and get a samurai sword and...

But I was through with [Whittier College], and just didn't know what I'd do after that. I didn't know how transferring worked or what it was like at a community college. What was worse was that I would have to move back home...and [my family] were the reason why I wanted to dorm in the first place.

I never worked a day in my life, and I was scared shitless about getting a real job.

I knew that by staying at Whittier, I wouldn't have to take again any math, English, or science classes, and that was an incentive to stay.

And then I had fuckers telling me how important it is to have a degree, and that graduating Whittier is the best, and it's so important...

And then add the friends and memories...

After Whittier...

Despite my lack of knowledge and doubts, I was able to do it.

The moment I left, I changed in a millisecond. A huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I felt so good and was no longer so unhappy. Wow. I make it seem like triumphing over a disease or something.

...I was able to get the chillest stoner job ever, and I'm rich, bitch! I feel so blessed and successful, I have so much and no responsibility, and I could start paying back the stupid ass loans that went to nothing, if I wanted.

If I can do it, surely everyone else can.

I'm not driven enough yet to go back to school full-time, I'm just enjoying my youth.

And the bummer I guess is that it'll take me two years to make up GE courses and transfer to another school. But I went to the lousiest community college for a semester in L. A., and I actually loved it, it felt like a real college, much more than Whittier ever could.

I swear the inventors of community college's are geniuses, you get so much for paying so little.

It was so much fun being in school with friends again, and it felt so weird being on campus with lots and lots of other kids because I was used to Whittier's deserted campus.

Unless you're like desperately poor, you don't need to finish school in only 4 years. Your academic accomplishments shouldn't be the only thing your family can be proud of. You don't need to go to a prestigious school just for your ego. Get that stick out of your ass and get rid of that stigma!

Don't be a loser. You've worked so hard already, you should have fun and have fun learning.

Bottom line: Whittier wasn't worth the $30k+ a year at all; even if you have to pay a fraction of that, you're being duped.

At least you're not like me and have to pay thousands back for complete bullshit.

Again, don't be a loser, don't fall for [Whittier College's] tricks, lies, and lovely brochures.

Go to a real school.

- An Ex-Whittier College Student

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